A day at basketball camp was tainted with tragedy as James Harden crossed over fifteen year old Robert Wessel so bad that he immediately died. The awesome crossover had everyone in the MI3 Center Auxiliary Gym cheering with delight, until Robert would not get up. It. Was. Amazing.

Team doctors tried to revive Robert, who was in a humiliation coma. Several players on the sidelines yelled, jumped and gave each other high fives, not yet understanding the gravity of the situation. When Robert was pronounced dead twenty minutes later, many of them agreed with one player’s assessment, merely saying “that shit was crazy.”


“Death by crossover is rare”, said Dr. Mukesh Shah, who specializes in sports-related injuries. “Usually someone who gets crossed over badly will merely suffer two broken ankles. But sometimes the force of going incredibly quickly from one direction to the other will “own” someone so completely, that he will suffer massive trauma and die.”

Harden has already agreed to pay for funeral services with the proceeds he will get from his upcoming And-1 Mix Tape.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.