The party has begun in the Indians’ clubhouse! After clinching their first pennant in 19 years, the Indians celebrated in appropriate fashion by busting out the bottles of Trevor Bauer’s blood.

“Wooooooh! American League Champs!” screamed Francisco Lindor while shaking up a bottle of blood and spraying it directly at Andrew Miller’s face. “World Series here we come!”

Though Major League teams typically celebrate series wins by spraying each other with champagne, the Indians decided that they would forgo tradition and recycle the gallons and gallons of blood that Bauer lost after attempting to pitch through a pinkie cut.

“This is the result of all the hard work these guys have put in,” said manager Terry Francona before taking a swig of Bauer’s blood straight from the bottle. “But there’s still work to do. We’ve got one more series to win, and Trevor’s got to lose about 200 more liters of blood.”

When pressed for comment, Trevor Bauer passed out.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.