Reports indicate that 14-year old U.S. Open ballboy Braden O’Donnell audaciously waited until Serena Williams was well out of earshot before brazenly uttering that he could “smoke her in two sets easily.”

“Seriously, though, bro, I would crush [Ms. Williams],” said O’Donnell to a half-dozen junior competitors, well after hearing the click of the greatest women’s tennis player in history shutting the practice facility door behind her. “It wouldn’t even be close,” he added, after looking in several directions in a manner that can best be described as owl-like.

O’Donnell recently made varsity at Larkson High School in Larkson, New Jersey, and upon receiving word that this story would be run, a small, wet stain was reportedly seen trickling down the front of his USTA-issued khaki pants.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.