I’d heard that NCAA players didn’t get paid much, despite generating millions of dollars for their respective schools. But just how hard is it to live on their salaries? I decided to find out!

1. Start Journey

10:17 AM: Feeling great! Had a big dinner last night in prep, because I’ll tell you, zero dollars does not go far in New York City!

2. Adding Machine

1:32 PM: Experiencing some reeeeally bad cotton mouth. Tried to scoop up some puddle water into my mouth. Might have dysentery. Will update.

3. Hungry Pushing Through

3:45 PM: Not gonna lie, I thnk the hunger is startn gto afect my motrosilkls.

4. Passing Out On Computer

5:23 PM: And I’m back! I might have done some things I’m not super proud of with a couple I met on Craigslist in exchange for a gallon of water and a plate of ziti.

5. Plate of Pasta

5:31 PM: Plot twist! Turns out receiving gifts (even food!) in exchange for services violates the NCAA code of conduct, so I am currently being investigated by the NCAA Morality Task Force. They let me finish my pasta though!

6. Handcuffs (1)

11:49 PM: They put me in a holding cell until a judge can hear my case next week! Bologna sandwiches as far as the eye can see! This wasn’t so hard after all! Thanks, NCAA!

7. Sandwich in Jail

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.