Though Rob Gronkowski left last night’s game early with an apparent injury, initial reports this morning indicate that Gronk simply left the game to go gnar on some of that fine, fine Colorado powder.
“Injured? What? No. My homie Shaunny Dub [sic] texted me and told me he was going night-riding. I figured Tom had the game locked up so I called one of those cool cart things and went to meet him,” said the iconic tight end.
This isn’t the first time Gronkowski has left early to go meet up with Shaun White. “We were at dinner just the other night. Rob checked his phone, looked at me, and then he was just gone,”said Camille Kostek, the Gronk’s girlfriend. “Apparently, Shaun had found some really cool ramps in South Boston and Rob really wanted to ‘hit up some sick grindage.’”
Shaun White and Rob Gronkowski are planning to release a video game together in 2016 under the title Gronk and Shaun’s Party Adventure. It’s an MMORPG in which players randomly wander from party to party, searching for the meaning of life along the way. The game features cameos from celebrities such as: Lil’ Wayne, Drake, Joe Montana, and Leonardo DiCaprio.
When asked if he realized he was interrupting a football game, Shaun White replied, “I don’t know what football is, but you’re really messing with my vibe right now, brah.” He then jumped on a Phunkyduck and floated into the horizon.