Some day in the distant future, when you’re bouncing your grandkids on your knee and talking about the good old days of the NFL, I really hope you look back fondly on me, Greg Hardy, as the guy who got arrested for cocaine possession.

“Oh yeah, that guy was great at rushing the quarterback, and I think he got arrested if I recall… oh that’s right, for doing blow,” you’ll wistfully say.

And then your grandkids will look up at you, smiling, and ask, “But grandpa, did he ever get arrested for anything else?” To that, you’ll just reply, “I don’t remember. That coke bust is really what he was known for.”

It’s a really pleasant thought, you know? “Greg Hardy the Cocaine User.” It has a nice ring to it. And it’s a heck of a lot nicer than the other way that history was going to be remember me, as “Greg Hardy the Roommate’s Ice Cream Stealer.” Guilty as charged, LOL!







Wow, I’m a piece of shit.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.