An Excerpt From “Infinite Possibilities: One Final Ride With Kevin Garnett”, due out in bookstores next week.

The double-decker luxury bus backs out from the bowels of Oracle Arena. Rookie Karl-Anthony Towns and second year star Andrew Wiggins have both fallen asleep – an earth-shattering upset victory over the Golden State Warriors, much like the arena itself, is already in the rearview mirror.

But Kevin Garnett is wide awake. He hardly sleeps at all anymore. He’s far too busy Crushing.

“ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!!” Garnett shrieks, shaking his iPhone 4 in the air. The declaration feels less a celebration, and more an attempt to convince himself he will one day conquer what’s eluded him for weeks: level 471 of the popular iOS game Candy Crush Saga.

CHICAGO, IL - FEBRUARY 27:  Kevin Garnett #21 of the Minnesota Timberwolves (R) talks with teammate Gorgui Dieng #5 on the bench during a game against the Chicago Bulls at the United Center on February 27, 2015 in Chicago, Illinois. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and or using this photograph, User is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

“You don’t understand, Gorgui. I think it’s unbeatable.” (Getty)

Garnett’s screams clap against the windshield and ricochet back. Wiggins and Towns stir.

“KG, chill, man. It’s almost midnight,” Towns begs. But Garnett does not hear. As injuries and old age have stripped the legendary forward of his considerable basketball gifts, he’s focused his competitive fire on Crush.

“F**k you, chocolate machine,” Garnett whispers at his phone. “I’mma get you soon enough.”

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.