MMA champion Conor McGregor’s title defense, set to take place on March 5th, was briefly put on hold when challenger Rafael dos Anjos broke his foot and dropped out.

However, UFC fans were delighted to learn this morning that world-class fighter/crazy person McGregor took a ball peen hammer to his own foot in order to keep the bout from being delayed.

“It’ll be a gimpy slugfest in there,” McGregor told reporters as he iced his mangled foot. “Each fighter will get one wooden crutch to use as a weapon and/or for support, per Dana White’s new rules.”

This is the first documented case of a fighter intentionally injuring himself prior to a match in order to even the playing field. The closest equivalent was in golf, when multiple competitors had extra-marital affairs so Tiger wasn’t the only one enduring media scrutiny. Well, that’s what they told their wives at least.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.