After clinching the NLDS for the Los Angeles Dodgers by pitching in two games in a row, Clayton Kershaw kept screaming “I’m gonna pitch forever,” apparently intending to start the first game in pennant race against the Cubs as well. “I’ll just pitch all the time,” Kershaw explained. “I don’t know why no one has thought of this before. Just have your best pitcher pitch all the games. Duh.”

Dodgers manager Dave Roberts, known for unconventional strategy, supports Kershaw. “Yeah, Clayton is our only pitcher now. This is like the new Moneyball.”

“I pitched in all the games we won in the series with Washington. If I don’t pitch, we lose. I’ll just load up on electrolytes in between games,” Kershaw explained. “Then I should be good to go.”

When asked about recommended rest days for pitchers, Kershaw was dismissive “Oh that’s for little babies in little league. Once you’re an adult, you can pitch all the time. That’s science.”

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