Steph Curry’s most recent clutch performance quickly turned from exhilarating to worrisome after team doctors realized that his bloodstream consisted almost entirely of frozen water.
Curry, whose bloodstream was discovered to have exceptionally low levels of haptoglobin and abnormally high levels of ice, was rushed to a nearby hospital immediately following the game.
While nurses and doctors panicked, Curry remained calm, collected, and dangerously cool, in a life-saving performance hospital officials said they hadn’t seen since the late 1990s.
“Given his blood makeup and penchant insane late-game performances,” Doctor James Stevens said. “It’s become apparent to our ward that Steph Curry is not human.”