After racking up the best regular season record in the MLB and defeating the San Francisco Giants in the NLDS, the Cubs finally seem like they’re poised for a triumphant World Series run.
Which means the Cubs have their fans riiiight where they want them. Against their better instincts, the Cubs fans are now completely invested in what will certainly end up being some sort of embarrassing defeat for their sad team. Some Cubs fans have even allowed themselves to consider what type of cheese dips they’ll be serving at their World Series victory party.
“We did to San Francisco what teams usually do to us,” Cubs putz Jackie Pirkowski tragically announced as she shopped for a new victory-cheese-crock pot online. Her optimism in the face of what will certainly be another crushing defeat was heart-wrenching. Asked if she understood the Cubs’ last pennant win was only slightly more recent than America’s last World War win, Jackie responded “Yeah, but this year is different.” Devastating.
Cubs fans are feeling confident and that’s right when the Cubs usually strike with a mind-boggling loss.
“I need to get pimento-stuffed green olives for this cheese dip recipe,” Pirkowski could be heard mumbling to herself. No you don’t, Jackie. No, you don’t.