Four years after taking down the statue of disgraced former head coach Joe Paterno despite calls to preserve the legacy of college football’s winningest coach, Penn State officials have finally settled on a compromise to satisfy Paterno critics and supporters alike.
That’s right. They’ve erected a new statue of Paterno, this time doing what he does best: looking the other way.
“Joe Paterno was unparalleled in his longevity and consistency–in terms of winning football games and ignoring reports of sexual abuse,” Penn State officials said in an issued statement. “This statue allows us to honor both sides of Joe Pa’s legacy.”
The statue was completed by an architecture firm that asked not to be named, “even in internal documents because those could leak out at some point”.
As for anyone offended by the new statue, Penn State officials advised that they pay homage to Paterno by also looking the other way.