The Cleveland Browns opened the season by losing 21-18 to the Pittsburgh Steelers, and the city of Cleveland responded by throwing an enormous parade, the likes of which Cleveland hasn’t seen since the Cavs won the NBA championship.

“We covered the spread. We covered the spread,” Browns fans chanted as they marched through the streets.

Browns coach Hue Jackson thanked the fans for their unwavering support. “It’s because of your faith in us that we were able to reach deep and cover the spread today,” he said. “And to everybody who said we couldn’t do it, who said we were going to lose by eight points or more: ha! We showed you.”

We did it!


The city will be shut down for the rest of the week so that everybody can party.

Quarterback DeShone Kizer said that he was proud to have covered the spread, but that he wants more.

“Obviously this exceeded my wildest hopes and dreams for how this game would go,” he said. “But I feel like we can reach ever higher than covering the spread. I feel like someday, maybe, we can actually tie a game.”

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.