We’re not sure, obviously, that Clayton Kershaw is Chuck Norris. But it’s becoming increasingly difficult to describe the Dodgers’ ace without resorting to early-2000s-style meme facts.
*Clayton Kershaw takes a Lamborghini to the stadium each day. He slings it over his shoulder and walks down the freeway.
*Clayton Kershaw can have his cake and eat it too and throw a no-hitter with his fingers covered in cake frosting.
*Clayton Kershaw doesn’t give up earned runs. You can only beg for them, and pray he shows mercy.
Every child grows up dreaming about hitting a World Series-winning home run. Against Kershaw, you’re better served dreaming of meekly fouling off a few pitches before a catcher’s interference enables you to take your base.
The Dodgers are officially back in the postseason, and that means Clayton Kershaw, along with world-beater teammate Zack Greinke (who, ya know, only sports a 1.68 ERA, no big deal), will unleash the greatest 1-2 pitching punch in the Majors to win the National Karate Championships.
Or World Series. After Kershaw’s performance last night, there’s no real reason to think he couldn’t do both.