Just when things appeared to be settling down in the Chicago White Sox locker room, Chris Sale has landed himself in yet another uniform controversy. This time, at least, he says he’s got the biggest rule in fashion on his side.

Just a couple hours before gametime, a couple of Sale’s teammates found the lefty pitcher perched upon a mountain of shredded uniforms. He repeatedly plunged a pair of rusty scissors into a white jersey while chanting, “Not after Labor Day, not after Labor Day.”

Manager Robin Ventura ended up scratching Sale for the rest of the week’s games. “I really have no idea what got into Chris. I mean, pretty much every team has some kind of white uniform,” said Ventura. “Besides, that Labor Day rule is outdated. My wife got me a nice pair of white slacks that I wear well into the fall. Is Chris saying my Stephanie has bad taste?”


Sale, however, was eager to share his side of the story. “Maybe we could’ve gotten away with an eggshell, a cream, an ivory. But this basic white, it’s just flat-out hideous,” explained Sale.

At a press conference, Sale wondered aloud whether his suspension might be the biggest scandal in team history. When one reporter then brought up the Black Sox Scandal, Sale responded, “Ugh, I wish.”

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.