After years of watching comedian Kevin Hart shoot with seemingly no regard for offensive efficiency, members of his Celebrity All-Star team are growing increasingly nervous that Hart is absolutely planning on storming the court as a player/coach and jacking up wild threes, even to his own team’s great detriment.

“He’s wearing a suit, looking all Pat Riley out here,” scoffed team member Chauncey Billups. “But I definitely see his Team USA jersey peeking out from his sport coat. This is not good.”


“And he’s the freaking coach, so who’s gonna yank him?” asked Jason Sudeikis, talked about as a darkhorse Celebrity All-Star MVP candidate. “You’re not Steph Curry, Hart. You’re just not.”

Hart has reportedly been modeling his game after Steph Curry, who famously shoots three-pointers from 30 to 35 feet from a very high percentage. Hart has been emulating Curry’s shooting volume, while ignoring all other facets of his game.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.