After scoring a goal in a scrimmage with the U.S. Water Polo team, Cam Newton celebrated in a manner that was most likely insensitive, braggadocious, and a terrible influence on young water polo fans, though we can’t be sure because we could mostly only see his head.

The Carolina Panthers quarterback quickly took to the sport, thriving as a hole set. After one of his goals, he probably thrusted in his speedo in some disgusting way, but again, we’re not certain, our view was severely obscured by the density of chlorinated pool water.

This, but underwater, probably (Getty)

This, but underwater, probably (Getty)

Midway through the scrimmage, Newton nailed a skip-shot from the five-meter-line, and then dabbed, we think, or maybe just used his arms to swim, which would also make sense.

Newton’s theatrics stand in stark contrast to fellow Super Bowl quarterback and water polo enthusiast Peyton Manning, who is known to celebrate his goals by looking to the sky in an acknowledgment of his faith, or doing the backstroke, who knows.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.