Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton has hired world-renowned interpretive dance teacher Marisol Allegra to help him replace his touchdown celebration “dab” move.

“I’m never going to stop dabbing in my personal life. But, the time has come for me to find a new way to express my joy,” said Newton. “I’m looking for an art form that means nothing, and yet everything, at the same time.”

Newton’s dab drew national attention last year, both positive and negative, when he debuted the celebratory move during a Nov. 15th game against the Titans. Tennessee players, along with some fans, took issue with what they called “arrogant struts” and “in-your-face taunting.”


While interpretive dance is widely regarded to be the most accommodating of dance disciplines, Marisol Allegra is no stranger to controversy. The teacher was arrested in 2011 after an interpretive dance 101 class of hers was charged with public indecency following a movement called the “nude butterfly.” The Newton campaign will be her first foray into the public dance spotlight since the incident.

Although anticipation is growing, Newton has yet to indicate what his new touchdown celebration is going to look like. “I have until September to figure it out. But I know this, it will look strange. And weird. Also, confusing. Definitely confusing.”

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*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.