Amazing: two superstar athletes from two different sports met this week, and one now works as the other’s personal manservant.

Olympic hero Katie Ledecky was invited to a recent Washington Nationals’ game, where she was reportedly thrilled to meet reigning MVP Bryce Harper and immediately put him to work as a human medal rack.

“He did such a nice job holding my gold medals that I figured I’d see what else he can do,” smiled Ledecky. “He ironed my bathing suits to perfection! It’s just a shame that I’m about jump in the pool and ruin his good work, but he was really great.”


Harper voluntarily entered into a handshake deal with Ledecky, wherein he would book her travel, set her schedule, walk her dogs, and really just attend to anything she needed, in exchange for quality social time with his new idol.

“There’s something about her, where you just really want her to like you,” Harper gushed. “Do you think she likes me? She said I did a good job folding her laundry, but she might have just been trying to spare my feelings. Oh jeez, I hope I did a good job. I watched so many instructional YouTube clips!”

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.