You may have heard that I have received notice about a possible doping violation from last week’s fight in the UFC. I’m to say I have a perfectly good explanation for all of this: It was my WWE persona who took steroids, not me.

Unfortunately, we happen to share a body.

Guys, calm down okay? The WWE and the UFC are such different things. Two separate worlds. UFC Brock Lesnar is simply a jacked white-boy, a champion, and clean as a whistle. However, the amped up WWE version of Brock Lesnar is a freakish Hulk-monster, thirsty for blood… and he also takes steroids.

This is a totally different guy than the one who fought at UFC 200.

This is a totally different guy than the one who fought at UFC 200.

It’s not that I wanted to take steroids, but that was what the character called for, what the script called for. Oh, I’m sorry, did I just blow the secret for you all? Yeah, professional wrestling is scripted, you nimrods. I was ACTING. It’s called method, ever heard of it? Stanislavsky? Marlon Brando? Ring any bells? You uncultured apes…

Anyway, even if my WWE persona had to take steroids from time to time, it is insulting that everyone would insinuate that I would bring him into the Octagon to fight. I’m a professional and can get in and out of character when needed.

Now, can we all stop making a mountain out of a molehill and get back to focusing on something else? Anything else, really.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.