Just a week after signing a two-year, $41 million contract extension, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has restructured his contract to include a clause allowing head coach Bill Belichick to maintain ownership of his soul for all of eternity.
“At this stage of my career, I want to do whatever’s best for this team. If that means taking a little less money, so be it. If that means handing over control of my innermost being to a man who’ll probably subsume my spirit in the afterlife anyways, that’s fine too,” Brady said in a press conference.
Brady is the third Patriot to include Belichick’s recently introduced Soul Collection Clause in a contract this offseason, along with linebacker Ramon Humber and wide receiver Chris Hogan, who told reporters that his soul was “a small price to pay for the chance to be a Patriot.”
When pressed for comment, Belichick simply said “Yessssss. Gooooood.”