So I was watching CNN last night, because Lord knows I can’t bear to watch my team bungle yet another draft night. But I noticed something kind of cool: the United Kingdom just decided “eff this, we out” of the entire European Union.

No good-bye letters. No awkward breakups. Just a vote, and then peace out.

So I was thinking, if the 64.1 million people in the UK can just bomb out of the EU, I was thinking I could do the same thing with the Kings!

Dude, I watched all eight seasons of Dexter, okay? I know what it means to stick with something long after the ship has sunk to the bottom of the ocean. But this Kings mess is way worse.


I mean, they’re gonna keep sticking me with coaches I hate and offensive schemes where — and I’m not even joking — a billionaire with no basketball experience encourages us to play 4-on-5.

We just need something as catchy as “Brexit.” I’m thinking “The Boogiexodus.” Yeah, I like that!

I’ll just become the Sovereign Nation of Boogie. If any other teams out there wanna sign me, you’ll have to meet my contract requirements of 10 years, 400 million Boogiebucks (the currency of my new country).

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.