When asked about the allegations that he and his organization cheated during Thursday’s opener against the Pittsburgh Steelers, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick assured reporters that he could not hear them, because his headset was not functioning properly.

“What? What are you saying?” Belichick was quoted as asking the gathered press. “Nope, can’t hear you, my headset’s not working. Wasn’t working for either team last night. Bizarre. Anyway, Brady was great.”

When pressed for information on the recent “DeflateGate” and “SpyGate” revelations in the news, Belichick reached up to his ear, noting, “Static or something. You were asking something about Edelman? He’s a true professional.”

No one has been able to get a straight answer out of Belichick regarding why he was wearing a headset to a press conference.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.