There’s been a lot of discussion recently about “locker room talk” by a man in his 70s who describes his “weekly exercise” as golfing with a gas-powered cart. We’d like you to allow for the possibility that this man might not be the world’s foremost expert on locker room talk.

Sure, locker room banter will occasionally include something along the lines of “Hey, did you see those attractive women in the first row?” but usually not. These days, it’s usually more like “Hey, did you see those attractive women in the first row? They seem pretty cool. I would hate for them to get punished by a Trump-appointed SCOTUS that has taken away their reproductive freedom.”

To which someone will generally reply, “Totally, bro!”

We’ve been in locker rooms, gyms, training facilities, team bus rides, and every other macho setting you can imagine. You know what we generally don’t do? Brag about about grabbing or kissing women without their consent.

Know why? Cuz that’s a felony.

Okay, yes, some rookies like to brag that their newfound uniforms and contracts have led to some extra attention from the opposite sex.

But we’re actually much more concerned these days about the borders being closed to our Latino teammates, or having our Muslim teammates deported for no reason other than the GOP has stoked Islamophobia in this country for years in order to galvanize its primarily Caucasian voting base through fear and bigotry.

You know, fun, light topics like that. It’s the locker room after all!

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.