The NFL hoped Antonio Brown would take his large fine for twerking as a message to stop dancing suggestively in the end zone. Instead, he’s cleverly paying off the fine by pole dancing after every touchdown.

“I’m gonna twirl around the goal posts and ask fans for tips,” revealed Brown. “If I score as many touchdowns as last year and dance every time, I’ll break even. Of course, that’s assuming my teammates ask for lap dances after big first downs.”

Brown plans on pulling out all the stops. During a rehearsal at a team scrimmage, Brown scored on a fade route, took out a sanitary napkin, wiped the goal post clean, slid down it upside down, gazed into the eyes of the free safety, strutted over to a fan, let the fan insert a dollar in between his jersey and pads, and then handed the ball to an official.

“Am I happy that it’ll result in hundreds and hundreds of penalty yards? Of course not,” said Brown. “But then I think about paying Goodell back with all of those disgusting singles… and it’s all worth it.”

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.