American Pharoah’s long, sad decline reached its nadir Saturday, after Preakness Officials discovered he’d bet on himself to win the 2015 Preakness Stakes.

Immediately following these charges, The Horse Hall Of Fame announced that Pharoah would not be eligible to be inducted or fed any carrots.

Pharoah’s representatives have vehemently denied these reports, claiming that “horses have neither the mathematical skills nor manual dexterity to gamble.”

Sources from within the racing community, however, indicate otherwise.

“Come on, Johnny, just let me ride this one out!” Pharoah said while ‘chasing it’ at a Baltimore-area track last week, according to one horse translator. “You know I’m good for the money, John. I’ll find a way. I got a lotta glue in these hooves!”

“It’s sad,” the translator told us. “One of the greatest racehorses of all time, that one. But now, he’ll always be remembered as a sleaze.”

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