In the wake of Ryan Howard’s lawsuit filed against Al Jazeera for its claims that he used performance enhancing drugs, the news-gathering organization is suing Howard right back after the Philadelphia Phillies first baseman inflicted more than 60,000 Qatari Riyal in damages to the Al Jazeera headquarters in Doha, in what witnesses describe as “a hulksmashing rage.”

“At first we thought it was a show, paid for by an American government grateful that we could expose corruption that they could not,” said Al Jazeera CEO Al Anstey. “But he just kept smashing and smashing and smashing. And there was no Scarlett Johansson lookalike anywhere.”


Ryan Howard has vehemently denied any connection to banned substances, including HGH and steroids. His top-notch training team claims that Howard developed his hulksmashing form and technique the old-fashioned way: being caught in a blast of gamma radiation while minding his own business in the chem lab he built in his basement.

Celebrities such as Lou Ferrigno, Edward Norton, Mark Ruffalo, and Brazilian footballer Hulk have offered social media messages in support of the former MLB MVP.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.