After yet another dominant performance, A.J. Green is being fitted for a special harness to allow him to more easily carry the Bengals offense on his back.

“Honestly, I don’t know why we’ve waited so long to move on this,” said Bengals coach Marvin Lewis. “A.J. has really been carrying us for seasons now. We might as well give him a little support in doing so.”

Green, always a team-first kind of guy, insisted that the Bengals didn’t need to go through the trouble of getting the expensive, custom-made harness and that he could continue to balance the offense on his shoulders just like he’s always done. But team officials were adamant that the time was now for Green to be outfitted with the equipment.


“They said it’s a health concern for me to keep carrying this load, especially with some of the injuries we’ve had,” said Green, wearing the new device. “It does provide some pretty serious lower back support, which actually will make the lifting safer.”

The harness has an attachable piece for Tyler Eifert to strap in as well when he returns from injury next week.

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*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.