The Utah Jazz are a team that has pulled itself back to relevancy after a 25 win season just a few years back. They have put together a solid group of young players and have been able to compete in the difficult Western Conference. Still, ahead of this season, there are questions left to be answered: “Will Joe Johnson provide the veteran leadership to take this team to the next level?

Here’s 5 more questions literally nobody is asking:

Does Gordon Hayward fly in Cristiano Ronaldo’s barber for haircuts?

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There’s high and tight and then there’s Cristiano high and tight.

Do you think Karl Malone and John Stockton have ever been to a strip club together?

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I would say probably yes.

Why won’t Rudy Gobert be my friend?


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I keep texting him, but maybe it’s the wrong number. Yeah, it’s gotta be that. He’s cool. He wouldn’t be ghost me.

What the heck is Greg Ostertag up to these days?

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I should clarify, there is one person asking this question: Me.

Is Utah the jazziest state in the union?

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No.

We can't play sports*, but we can make jokes about them!

*Two of our writers hit a home run** once
**It was in a video game.